| Thallus
of Marchantia
by
Gerald Singer
In 1963, I attended the State University of New York at Buffalo,
formerly known as the University of Buffalo. The university had
an extremely large freshman class that was disproportionate to the
number of students in the upper classes. It was assumed that more
than half of the freshmen would either drop out or be kicked out
their first year.
Certain courses were required for all students and these classes
would ordinarily be taken in the freshman and sophomore years. Because
there were thousands of freshmen in the school, the required courses
were generally held in large lecture halls attended by literally
hundreds of students.
One of these courses was Botany 101, which is the superficial study
of all the plants in the world, how they are classified, what their
properties are and what they are called. It can be an interesting
study, but in the large lecture hall with a boring, droning professor
it was more of a challenge to one's ability to stay awake under
extreme circumstances.
At the end of the semester there would be a final exam. The preparation
for this exam led to the inevitable crazy cram sessions and all-
nighters. The students would often study together drinking coffee
(or ingesting stronger stimulants) to stay awake and try to make
up in one night for all the missed classes and for all the times
when full attention was not paid to the lecturer.
Late one night a student cramming for the Botany final exam, began
studying the section of his textbook pertaining to plants known
as liverworts. He came upon the section dealing with the Marchantia,
which has a stem-like structure known as a thallus and reproduces
asexually by forming gemmae on the upper surface of the thallus
that starts new plants.
"Extremely interesting" said the student sarcastically;
"the Marchantia reproduces asexually by means of a thallus.
Marchantia...Thallus..." He liked the sound of the words as
they rolled smoothly off his Dexedrine-stimulated tongue. "Thallus...
Marchantia ... The Thallus of Marchantia ... The Thallus of Marchantia
... Hey guys ... The Thallus of Marchantia... sounds like royalty
doesn't it? ... The Thallus of Marchantia."
The fellow students agreed. They liked the sound of the phrase.
They laughed and made jokes about his Majesty the Thallus of Marchantia.
Then suddenly a student came up with an absolutely marvelous idea.
"Let's call the Buffalo Evening News and tell them that Thallus
of Marchantia is coming to Buffalo"
"Great idea!" agreed the others.
"You call... No you...Where's the phone? Hello, Buffalo Evening
News... The Thallus of Marchantia is coming to Buffalo..."
The December 15, 1964 edition of the prestigious Buffalo Evening
News contained a small article announcing the event. The headline
for the story was something like, "Dignitary to Visit Here"
and the story went on that an Arab potentate, the Thallus of Marchantia,
would be visiting Buffalo as part of his tour of the United States.
"Marchantia", they added sagely at the end of the article,
"is an island in Arabia".
Inspired by the actual appearance of the story in the Buffalo
Evening News, the pranksters broadened the scope of their hoax.
Word spread throughout the student body and everyone wanted to get
in on the joke. It was decided that since the Thallus of Marchantia
was, after all, from Arabia, he was probably anti-Semitic or at
least anti-Zionist and his visit should be protested.
On the other hand, it was possible that the Thallus was really
a good guy and was being maligned by unfound rumors and, consequently,
his visit to Buffalo should not be ruined by undeserved protests.
The next day the Botany lecture halls were packed to capacity,
not only by those legitimately registered for the class, but also
by other students and faculty members who were attracted by what
was now a genuine "happening". Many students displayed
signs and banners either for or against the visit of his Majesty,
the Thallus of Marchantia. Typical slogans read, "Thallus Go
Back to Your Palace!" or, conversely, "No Malice for the
Thallus!"
A good time was had by all...and the plot thickened. A follow-up
story was given to the newspaper. The Thallus would arrive in Buffalo
on a flight from New York City at 1:48 p.m. It was rumored that
radical students from the university were planning to protest his
arrival.
A collection was taken up and a student, Arthur Schein, was sent
to New York City. When he arrived at the Laguardia airport in New
York, Mr. Schein purchased a first class ticket back to Buffalo.
He changed into a suit and tie and wrapped a towel around his head
in an imitation of an Arabian burnoose.
Meanwhile the city fathers of Buffalo were making their own preparations
for the arrival of the visiting dignitary. The Thallus was to be
met on the tarmac by none other then the mayor himself.
Before noon on the day of the Thallus of Marchantia's arrival to
Buffalo, the airport began to fill with students waving signs and
banners greeting or protesting the Thallus. It was estimated that
between 700 and 2000 people were at the airport when the Thallus's
plane landed.
The Cheektowaga Police Department had a large contingent of officers
on hand to prevent any embarrassing student protest demonstrations.
In the performance of that duty, they blocked the students from
entering the airport.
The crowd swelled...a bugler arrived...the bugler played "charge"
and the students swarmed the airport. A large pane of glass was
broken and furniture was knocked over, several students were apprehended
by the police and put into custody.
The plane landed and the Thallus of Marchantia also known as Arthur
Schein walked proudly down the gangway where the mayor's official
chauffeur-driven limousine awaited him. Two policemen led Arthur
to the limo where he sat down next to the mayor who had prepared
a welcoming speech for the Arab ruler.
The crowd of protesters was approaching the field and the limo
escorted by two police cars, sirens wailing, began to leave the
airfield by a back exit. One of the students who was arrested was
questioned by the police at the scene. He told all.
The police radioed the mayor's limousine informing him of the hoax.
The procession halted. The policemen who were conducting the escort
got out of their vehicles, proceeded to the mayor's limo, and arrested
the ersatz Thallus.
From the University of Buffalo's Online Alumni Magazine:
"The next day, the hoodwinked News accused '1,000 State University
of Buffalo students of wrecking furniture, jostling innocent bystanders
and generally turning the Greater Buffalo International Airport
into a frightening mob scene.' For all of The News' indignation,
however, none of the bystanders was reported injured and the damage
was revised down to $600.
"The so-called Thallus, whisked away in a Cheektowaga police
car, was charged with disorderly conduct and fined $50. Richard
Siggelkow, who was then dean of students, indefinitely suspended
Schein, but not before posting his bail and putting him up for the
night. Schein's conviction by lower courts was later reversed, and
the student body coughed up the $600."
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